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Apr. 20th, 2012 06:37 amIt's kinda weird. Reading Kurt/Blaine fics means a lot of their fics set in the future deal with NYC and reading about the city through their eyes, through the eyes of the authors who may or may not have been to NYC before and seeing and feeling their sense of wonder makes me incredibly uneasy.
Mostly because I never felt that.
I was horribly unimpressed the entire time I was there. And I think I still am.
I was unimpressed when I went there the summer before my freshman year and it was a three day orientation. I ended up with two extra days, of which I spent mostly in Brooklyn. I remember having real sushi for the first time, eating at a sidewalk cafe in Greenwich, dim sum in Brooklyn (that's where the good stuff was at). And I remember a night-time tour of the surrounding neighborhood around the main NYU campus (location? it's not really a traditional campus, I'm still not sure what to call it even after four years there), playing Taboo in Silver, eating at Kimmel, sleeping in Weinstein, playing poker for change with the Asian guys next door with my temporary Russian roommate late at night, s'mores at Cosi... And despite that, I was underwhelmed.
And after that, when I really moved there, it just seemed to make it worse. It became a part of daily life. It became so incredibly normal and while it wasn't what I was used to, it didn't seem better or more amazing, only different. And I remained underwhelmed and unimpressed. Even after visiting all the tourist attractions, being on the Cyclone going to Astroland, doing stuff I never would have done or seen things I never would have seen...Shouldn't that have left me with a sense of wonder? Shouldn't it have been cooler? Shouldn't I have felt more affected?
Even though I saw those things, did those things, lived that life, I still feel like I missed out on it all because I didn't get the expected feelings people are supposed to get. It's all very strange. And I just feel incredibly uneasy when I think about it... It just doesn't feel right.
Mostly because I never felt that.
I was horribly unimpressed the entire time I was there. And I think I still am.
I was unimpressed when I went there the summer before my freshman year and it was a three day orientation. I ended up with two extra days, of which I spent mostly in Brooklyn. I remember having real sushi for the first time, eating at a sidewalk cafe in Greenwich, dim sum in Brooklyn (that's where the good stuff was at). And I remember a night-time tour of the surrounding neighborhood around the main NYU campus (location? it's not really a traditional campus, I'm still not sure what to call it even after four years there), playing Taboo in Silver, eating at Kimmel, sleeping in Weinstein, playing poker for change with the Asian guys next door with my temporary Russian roommate late at night, s'mores at Cosi... And despite that, I was underwhelmed.
And after that, when I really moved there, it just seemed to make it worse. It became a part of daily life. It became so incredibly normal and while it wasn't what I was used to, it didn't seem better or more amazing, only different. And I remained underwhelmed and unimpressed. Even after visiting all the tourist attractions, being on the Cyclone going to Astroland, doing stuff I never would have done or seen things I never would have seen...Shouldn't that have left me with a sense of wonder? Shouldn't it have been cooler? Shouldn't I have felt more affected?
Even though I saw those things, did those things, lived that life, I still feel like I missed out on it all because I didn't get the expected feelings people are supposed to get. It's all very strange. And I just feel incredibly uneasy when I think about it... It just doesn't feel right.
