I'm sorry you feel so badly about things. In the past, there has been all sorts of brouhaha about critiques and gift fics which I guess you missed.
Personally, I don't like my fics to be critiqued whether they're gift fics or not unless I specifically ask for it.
Not sure if this analogy will work for you, but here goes - When I dress, I may not always try to look my very best, but I try to make sure things match, I'm dressed appropriately for the weather, etc. Then I go out and present myself to the world, so to speak. If someone says that I look good, that's great. If someone says "Hey, you've got toilet paper stuck to your shoe" I see that as helpful since that's something I didn't intend to happen and is not at all the image I want to project. However... I would see it as rude if someone came up to me and told me that my top was the wrong color for me or that I should consider a jacket that's more fitted or my shoes are ugly. It might be true that a fitted jacket would work better with the outfit, but that still doesn't mean that it's okay for someone passing by to say so.
I might ask a friend or relative if my jacket is unflattering, but that's because I trust their opinion and know that they will couch it in relatively kindly terms because they care about me.
If you think of the mod's admonishment as a critique of your comment, you might get a glimmer of why critiques, even those that aren't especially harsh, can be uncomfortable or upsetting to receive.
Again, I'm sorry that you were so bothered by the situation. I'm a little surprised that it's not posted in the fest's profile page that critiques aren't welcome.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2008-12-21 06:24 am (UTC)Personally, I don't like my fics to be critiqued whether they're gift fics or not unless I specifically ask for it.
Not sure if this analogy will work for you, but here goes - When I dress, I may not always try to look my very best, but I try to make sure things match, I'm dressed appropriately for the weather, etc. Then I go out and present myself to the world, so to speak. If someone says that I look good, that's great. If someone says "Hey, you've got toilet paper stuck to your shoe" I see that as helpful since that's something I didn't intend to happen and is not at all the image I want to project. However... I would see it as rude if someone came up to me and told me that my top was the wrong color for me or that I should consider a jacket that's more fitted or my shoes are ugly. It might be true that a fitted jacket would work better with the outfit, but that still doesn't mean that it's okay for someone passing by to say so.
I might ask a friend or relative if my jacket is unflattering, but that's because I trust their opinion and know that they will couch it in relatively kindly terms because they care about me.
If you think of the mod's admonishment as a critique of your comment, you might get a glimmer of why critiques, even those that aren't especially harsh, can be uncomfortable or upsetting to receive.
Again, I'm sorry that you were so bothered by the situation. I'm a little surprised that it's not posted in the fest's profile page that critiques aren't welcome.