(no subject)

[sherryillk]

I'm not sure my thoughts make any more sense today after I've had a chance to rewatch last night's Glee episode a couple more times and got some sleep in me but I'm going to try and figure out my feelings about Dance With Somebody anyway.

So, I had lots of thoughts and feelings about last night's episode. A lot of it was rage. That was the chief feeling. Among it was embarrassment, disappointment, sadness...but I did enjoy a fair amount of it.

So first things first -- I don't know Whitney all that well. I think I knew only one of the songs from last night and I'm not really sure of that to be quite honest... But that didn't stop me from enjoying most of the songs. I don't think I hate any of them. Most were perfectly listenable, even Kurt's I Have Nothing (though Cheesa sang it on The Voice so that might be why I think I know it since it's been in my head very recently). It actually started off really well but then it went...bad. His voice was too high, he wasn't reaching notes that he probably wanted to be reaching, it sounded thin and it was not great. But I didn't hate it but that's mostly because he sang it to Blaine and it was all about Blaine. Why couldn't they have used the voice he used in the beginning of the song throughout it? I don't understand.

The best song of the night? How Will I Know, of course. My god, it was amazing! I avoided listening to it during First Listen Friday so all I knew of it was from the promo and it wasn't much so I had NO IDEA how amazing it was going to be. So I was blown away the first couple minutes into Glee. Because, wow, that song is seriously sooo good! And you know how I feel about a cappella music. It's one of the reasons why I was so enamored with the Warblers for so long so it was like perfect, just for me! And it was filled with great singers! The only thing that was weird was the inclusion of Santana because considering the lyrics, she's the only one who wouldn't be singing it to a boy... And it was a moment that I think Tina could have worked rather well, giving her more screen and singing time. But whatever, I've given up hoping for more good Tina moments. And I love the inclusion of Kurt within that little a cappella quartet -- so good! I'll be listening to that song for a long time. The way they staged that song was so incredibly good as well... So simple, so sweet, classy and tasteful... And how they all turned to an empty spotlight representing Whitney? I melted. Yeah, I fell for their cheap sentimental trick but I don't regret because it was just so well done. If only all their performances were that good.

The only other song I really gravitated towards was It's Not Right But It's Okay. I think it's actually rather fun! And I love the techno remix style of it. Like I said, I don't really know Whitney songs so I never heard the original so I don't find this remix offensive. And it was hilarious watching on the screen. I mean, Blaine was so melodramatic and the looks the Glee club was giving Kurt -- priceless! I found it amazing. Sure, I think Darren's voice could have sung the song with a bit more conviction and power than how it ultimately turned out, but it wasn't bad and I liked it a lot. I still think Blaine does angry-singing best -- it's usually the best part of the songs he sings.

I also loved how the Glee club started hesitantly singing backup for Blaine in this. It's like they didn't know whether or not to be on his side but they still couldn't pass up the chance to sing... And it was funny because most of them had been cheaters and had been cheated on so it's not like they had any moral high ground to stand upon. And poor Kurt -- I think this was the first time he's been on the receiving end of a dramatic angry song being sung to him in from the Glee club. When Blaine stomps out of the choir room, you could just see the realization that Blaine just broke up with him in song in from of everybody.

(Anybody else thought it was weird that Blaine was all in black -- though he was all kinds of fine in that suit -- with scary backup dancers and a podium? Is that a Whitney reference that I didn't get?)

I generally listen to any song that features Blaine during First Listen Friday but before that, I go read the comments on ontd_glee to give me a sense of how the haters liked it. It's like ripping off a band-aid -- get the bad stuff over with. Besides, with how vicious they are over there, and insanely biased they are against Blaine, they pierce my I LOVE BLAINE bubble, bring my own bias back down to manageable levels and allow me to be a bit more objective. I generally never agree with what they say over there and it pisses me off every single time I read anything from anyone, but they serve their purpose as being the anti-Blaine/Darren Criss ying to the crazy in love Blaine/Darren Criss fangirls yang. Neither side is right but where you have one extreme, there's always the opposite extreme and they're it. Sure, I think they're worser human beings but that's really their problem, not mine.

So going into it, I thought it was going to be a mess of a song so it was to my complete surprise, it wasn't and I enjoyed it. I didn't hate the techno, I didn't find it hilarious (and they were saying that before they actually saw the performance and Darren's facial expressions that never fail to draw laughter from them), and I thought it was good. Yay.

Anyway, those two songs are the only ones I actually want to listen to again. But I'll add My Love Is Your Love onto the list anyway because it has limited Blaine and Kurt moments on it. But it's really a Mercedes and Artie song, let's be real. That's not why I don't like it but because it's the sort of slow, meandering sort of boring song that I hate. As one of those end of the episode songs, it just wasn't upbeat enough. And the beat kept reminding me of a marching band drum line -- it feels like there's a march going on through the entire song. It's just not my type of music. :\ But I'm obligated to listen to it and somewhat like. I certainly didn't hate it but I didn't hate any of the songs from last night. Aside from these four songs mentioned, three of which I'll actively listen to again (though one begrudgingly), the rest failed to make an impression -- neither good nor bad. So they were just okay.

The Joe/Quinn duet was boring but that's really their whole relationship. All I have to say about that whole storyline is that it's boring, I don't care whether or not they end up together, and that last part about Joe's boner was just gross. And that part can be put to bed.

The other major storyline (before I get to the meat) was the Will/Emma one that I gathered was about Will being insecure about losing his Glee kids. I actually have softened a great deal when it comes to their relationship. I still don't particularly like them as characters individually but I can say that about pretty much the entire cast of Glee. Still, I do think they love each other and seeing as they're both dating for real, engaged, not cheating with anyone else, they might as well be together. Will really does need to get more adult friends but I won't fault him too much for being attached to the students who helped change his life for the better (I think, I think it's subjective personally but I think he thinks so) like some people out there. And it goes to show that even adults aren't immune to the feelings of being abandoned and forgotten. Will still wasn't as considerate when it came to Emma and their wedding but it's not like I can dislike Will any more than I already do so whatever.

And now for the part that has had me thinking since last night... The big Kurt/Blaine storyline. Let's just start from the beginning and maybe I can explain away some of those tweets I made last night.

So, it was pretty clear from the very beginning that Kurt and Blaine were having troubles during their first locker scene. But before that, they had a very short scene in the choir room as Mr. Schue talked about Whitney. They were sitting together! It's like the Glee PTB heard us finally and now have Blaine and Kurt mostly sitting next to each other now. Yay!

And you know me, I'm all about the body language because I think it's a subconscious tell about how people are feeling. This week, Blaine and Kurt are sitting next to each other but they're angled away from each other. This is actually not new and I've always thought of it as a symptom of their coolness to each other in real life -- like Chris can't quite bring himself to pretend he loves Blaine because Blaine is played by Darren who he's doesn't like. And I don't think think Darren ever quite warmed up to Chris, or if he had, it was dashed after Chris seemed to start disliking him. I don't know if it's mutual but from Chris' interviews, there's always a sense that he doesn't like Darren. I've never had that feeling with Darren's interviews, mostly because he doesn't seem to give that many of them anymore and when he does, he doesn't talk directly or indirectly about Chris so it gives it an illusion of it being a one-sided, dislike being main driven from one person. But like I said, I have no idea what their relationship is really like in real life -- for all I know, Darren really is a jerk and full of himself (I wouldn't find it hard to believe since he's always come off as quite calculating to me) and has given just cause to whatever dislike Chris may hold for him.

Anyway, back to Kurt and Blaine -- they had a nice little old married couple moment when Blaine stopped Kurt from listing all of Whitney's accomplishments, which made me smile. I love little couple-ly gestures like that, it really drives home that they are dating and when it comes to this couple who don't seem to have many of those moments, any little thing is very welcome.

And now back to the locker moment. Blaine was pretty distant through the whole thing but you could definitely see a shift once Kurt mentioned his NYADA audition. Kurt's resigned "boo" seemed really out of place -- I seriously hope that was him trying it out and not something that is their thing since I hate people calling their significant other's that. It seems so silly...

They go from that to the music store where we meet Chandler. Oh Chandler... He was everything I thought Wade would end up being -- a sort of sycophant, exuberant fan that would be trouble for Kurt and Blaine. I seriously hoped Kurt didn't give out his number or at least mention the fact that he had a boyfriend but it seemed like he did neither. Yay... Great, another triangle. Didn't quite like it with Sebastian, don't quite like it with Chandler.

That isn't to say I don't like Chandler. I actually like him a lot. And I'm dying to read a fic about him, or at least feature him instead off to the side like the majority of episode tag fics that have since come out since last night. I know, I'm not giving it enough time but still, I'll like a reaction fic with Chandler to Kurt suddenly breaking things off that doesn't have him taking it well. The one I did read was sort of a resigned "oh, okay, I won't bother you again, I totally understand" which is nice and all but I can't help but feel authors who write that sort of stuff are utilizing a cop out simply because they're not confident in themselves in writing conflict. And then I start thinking the author is a bad writer and I start nitpicking and then I've just undermined the entire story and I'll never be able to look at it or read it with unbiased feelings. :\

Rachel catches Kurt texting Chandler. Or shall I say Chandler texting Kurt? I don't know if Kurt ever texted him back so I don't know if he was actively encouraging him or if he was only passively doing so by not discouraging him. Although, with dozens of texts from Chandler, it's hard to believe he didn't get something from Kurt to say it was wanted because if he didn't, Chandler just got a whole lot more creepy. Like kinda scary stalker creepy, even if Kurt thought the texts were sweet. Even so, it's positive attraction and attention from someone who wasn't bullying him, something he has never gotten before so can you blame a guy for being flattered and wanting it to continue on?

Yeah, you kinda can. When the guy already has a boyfriend. I totally agree with Rachel -- Blaine is supposed to make him feel good. And if it was innocent, he should have been able to tell Blaine all about it. Maybe that would have brought things to a head before Blaine started snooping on Kurt's phone.

It was during that scene that thought to myself that "Wow, this what my favorite couple has become, with one guy emotionally cheating and another guy emotionally distant and both of them getting too complacent and taking each other for granted in their relationship." And that pissed me off. It pissed me off so much. Because as far as I know, they got together, they went to prom, they exchanged love declarations, Blaine transfers schools for Kurt, they have lose their virginities to each other, and now this. Where was the in between stuff? It was all big moments in their relationship being showed on TV and we got nothing of the little moments, of them being sweet together, of them being boyfriends and a couple, and in love. I can't feel it and believe it if you don't give me that stuff. And you're throwing this at me before I get stuff like that? A major problem in their relationship? They're comfortable with each other to the point where they've stopped working at their relationship? Seriously?! I wanted to see them getting comfortable with each other! I wanted to experience that with them! I felt like they cheated me. So I was pissed off.

You go from that to the bedroom scene that morphs into the It's Not Right But It's Okay song number. And that's where I had my great revelation about Blaine. The way he behaved in that whole sequence? So immature. He was reacting out of being hurt and he's angry but seriously, he came off sullen and whiny, and a bit self-absorbed, just all around young. Never have I ever felt the age difference between Kurt and Blaine more strongly than in that moment.

And I had been holding onto Season 2!Blaine for so long that the realization that the character development I had been craving for Blaine ended up with tons of negative personality traits, none of which were shown last year. Last year's Blaine is gone, and in that moment, I realized this new Blaine is what I was going to have to live with. This Blaine who is insecure and immature. *sigh* And then I started thinking maybe it would be better if Kurt and Blaine broke up because I don't think they're right for each other again... I had that feeling all last year up until they actually kissed in Original Songs and that niggling suspicion that they weren't right for each other was pushed aside for gay boys kissing and in love. And now that there were cracks in their relationship, I started feeling that way again.

I've been reading this one story, an AU where a recovering from Sadie Hawkins Blaine meets a self-assured confident Kurt at Carmel and it's the same sort of feeling -- that Blaine isn't emotionally ready for this sort of relationship if he can't get his shit together and Kurt can't realize when his boyfriend needs him to be on his side. It feels like the same sort of situation and if Kurt hadn't been so determined not to let Blaine go in the episode, I'm not sure if I would have been unhappy if they broke up and that bothers me a bit.

The main problems I saw in the fight in the bedroom is that Kurt didn't deny the fact that he liked Chandler even if he sort deflected it with saying he liked how Chandler made him feel. And that he couldn't see that what he did, had hurt Blaine and that it was not okay. He's sorry that Blaine is upset but not for why he's upset? Cop out, right there. And the whole bit about being wanted by other people? Kinda unfair since it's not like it's Blaine's fault that other people want him. Should he be making himself less attractive to others to make Kurt feel better? How does that even make sense?

On Blaine's side, I didn't like how he went for the cheap shot and brought up the transfer since Kurt had made him promise that the transfer wasn't for him. Nor do I like how he flew off the handle and didn't realize his own culpability in this whole thing by pulling away to the point where Kurt needed affection from someone else. And the whole song in front of the Glee club was just stupid and immature. Way to air your dirty laundry in front of everybody... :\

In terms of acting, I actually liked Darren during the whole exchange. Clearly, he shines in the performances much more than dramatic acting, which may be why they have him singing all the time and not actually speaking. But they're finally at the point where they need to stop singing at each other and start talking. I thought it was better than some of the wooden stuff he did last season and he played insecure, hurt, betrayed and sad well. I wish he had played up being pissed off much better but I guess he got that in through the song. I just wish he could do it without music, with his words a bit more. It still isn't great acting but it's certainly better. And opposite Chris who plays Kurt effortless, no matter what, Darren is always going to come up lacking when the contrast is so great.

Contrast that with the Emma office scene, and oh boy... It was hard getting through it the first time. And the second time. And possibly the third time but I never got that far because it's so cringe-worthy at times that I end up picking my way through the scene for my favorite parts, mostly the beginning before Blaine go all overly dramatic and emotional.

I do think that is a large part of the problem for Darren. He seems to overact, overplay up the emotions when he could stand to be a bit more subtle and it ends up feeling false. And with Blaine being so soft-spoken, I get the feeling he has a hard time delivering his lines convincingly. It almost feels like he's mocking the script because he doesn't believe or feel it which makes it come off insincere and unbelievable. I hate to say it, but it almost feels like he's trying to speak like how he thinks a gay guy would speak and it feel incredibly forced. His facial expressions was totally committed but his voice wasn't. Visually, I could believe it, audibly I didn't. I just wish he would do less because it feels like too much right now. So yeah, I could get where all the bad acting critiques are coming from because even I, a Blaine lover to the extreme had (and still have) a hard time getting through that scene. But he does do hurt well, even if it's so in our face that I don't think it's convincing but there's no mistaking that it's hurt he's trying to convey.

Blaine being distant while trying to practice being without Kurt is insane and I'm glad Blaine realizes it, albeit too late, and I still think they're being too optimistic about how they're going to make it. They really need more realistic expectations of their future. But I'll take their reconciliation as they're presenting it and accept that they're okay again. It seems too easy but until the next big thing, I guess it'll just fall to the wayside like everything else in Glee.

That last Kurt and Blaine scene at the locker is the best acting Darren did outside of his performance and I loved it! Blaine was being especially cute and alluring. I did wish they had blown off Glee club to make out/have make up sex but it was cute how they walked off with their arms around each other. It made me squee a little bit. No matter what, I love boys who are in love with boys. So cute!

Well, that was massively long... I hope I made sense. I'm still wondering if I liked the episode though. Didn't hate, feeling kinda mixed, but ultimately, I think it was good. *shrugs* Next week hopefully will have some good Kurt and Blaine moments too.