OMFG!!!

Just saw Yakitate!! Japan 13... The end theme -- oh my fucking god!!! Hello, the crack has arrived. I mean, that ending...! I'm speechless. After I had burst out laughing. That's so wrong. I don't want to see that, thank you very much but damn, it's so hilarious. It's so wrong yet so funny! Janet would have a cow watching this. It's too bad she went home for the weekend otherwise I would so show it to her right now.

Remember how I said I didn't see it as Yakitate!! Japan song but I was suspending my belief because this was a weird anime as it was? Well, doing it the way they did, it does sorta work.

God, talk about Saturday Night Fever. And those pelvis thrusts... God, so wrong!!! Why the hell am I watching this over and over again? I just love how he holds one side of his jacket open to emphasis his thrusting.

Brilliant! I love Yakitate!! Japan and I am SO happy to see them following the manga that I loved so much so closely (thus far). Anyone who has not seen this series or read the manga -- do it, RIGHT NOW. I don't usually go for crack but damn, this is just so tastefully done that it's hard to resist it.

Oh, one last thought: Now that I've seen so many melon breads, I want one too. And I usually don't like melon bread at all.

edit x1: This is something totally unrelated to anything but I think the last post was part of the whole PMS thing. And right now I have major cravings. I want sugar -- specifically chocolate. I crave chocolate! I don't even like chocolate! I ate an entire chocolate rose today -- so uncharacteristic of me. I want sugar!!! Chocolate! Chocolate! It's almost 1 AM -- where am I gonna get chocolate?

...I want to steal some of Brittney's chocolate cookies. That's so bad! Gah! This is bad...

Oblivion

I had talked about oblivion before.

After watching 12 episodes of Onegai Sensei along with the OVA, I've finally figured it out. The reason why I'm so into music, the reason why I escape into fanfiction and books, the reason why I love anime so much -- it's all interconnected, not just in a gluttonous search for happiness.

I suppose in a way, I had known all I was doing was escaping. I've said I was doing that in those words before. But still, I had never connected it together in my mind.

I've really been searching for oblivion -- for the perfect moment where everything stands still and when nothing ends. I want to be happy. I want to be loved. I want to be bathed in good feelings and I want to drown knowing everything is okay and that it always will be.

When Kei told his sister that he doesn't mind living in a finite world, my heart protested. I do mind. I want eternity, I want to stand still. I know I shouldn't but I do. I can't stand the fact that this world is so hard and that I would have suffer in it. I'm sorry if I want to take the easy way out but...

I don't want to move on. I like where I am right now. I admit it's not perfection but I am content. At this moment, I feel like I am satisified. I don't need tomorrow. I have today and have what's gone so please, let me stay in this moment a little longer. Tomorrow comes too soon but all I want is what I already have.

I realize this is a fine line for me to be talking about this. While I really don't want to alarm anyone and I do promise I won't be doing anything stupid, I really feel like if this moment could continue forever, I would be happy even if the world ended here. I wouldn't be sad; I would have no regrets; I would still be happy if it all ends.

So, please let me have this moment. Let's not taint it. This moment of completeness, who knows when I will feel it again?

It's strange to think Onegai Sensei is what triggered it. For this one moment, I want to sink into oblivion. This is as close to perfection as something as imperfect as me can get.

It's time for me to let go. Ja ne.

(That sounds like a bad way to end it so I'm emphasising the fact that I won't be doing anything stupid again. So please don't freak.)

Gah...

Woke up at 3 PM today. My head is killing me, proof that I still haven't gotten over my cold/sickness/whatever it is...

Lately, I've been forcing myself to eat because to take meds on an empty stomach is stupid but I really am not hungry. Which I think is also because of the fact that I'm sick...

Ah, my head. I just kinda wanna crawl back into bed and hide there for until everything is okay again. I'm not even sleepy! I am a bit tired but that's probably the cold too. God damn it. Why is it making me feel like shit?! I have to get through some chapters for bio today and then read for my Russia course. Grrr...

But I did get Daydreamin' the ED for Sukisyo. Sherry loves loves loves. If I could manage to get my webspace thing resolved, I'd put it up... ITS is stupid. Yes, I realize that I have to use a FTP program to delete the files! I've deleted all of them, even my index page so technically, there is nothing there. So why the hell am I still over the quota?! I just don't understand... And since it's a holiday, no one in ITS is there to respond. Hopefully I'll get some answers tomorrow.

Oh, and this song? Nice and depressive -- I wish I had gotten it last night where I would have appreciated it for its greatness. :)

Hmmm...

I couldn't wait and renewed my Streamload subscription early (seriously, it was like 2 hours so why put myself through the trouble and wait until 3 AM if I could do renew at 1 AM?). But Streamload seems to have forgotten the fact that I used up the deposit I had put in for this month's subscription for the early renewal and renewed my account anyway. So now I have double the amount of MBs I paid for. I wonder if they'll catch on? It's nice seeing so many of thos MBs there but still...

Now I don't know what to do with with all these MB. I could download stuff but really, I find it hard to use it up every month as it is. Streamload used to be such a big thing with me before I came to NYU but now that I'm here, I use IRC and BT way too often to be relying on Streamload all that much...

I don't know. I'm gonna guess Streamload will just assume that I had paid for it and just leave it at that. If I get to use the MBs I didn't pay for, great, if I don't, no skin off my nose since it was never something I should have had anyway.

And now, back to studying bio for the nasty exam this Friday. :)

Note to Self: I need to say something about this thing with my roommate soon or I'm going to go fucking crazy. So as a personal note to myself, stop being so damn hesitant and blog about it already! It's starting to annoy me, both the situation and the way I've been handling it. But don't do it now since you have to study. Really, you do.