Oh my god, what the hell did I just do...

I'm tired of being a coward.

I've just emailed Hanawa-sensei with my request to take Advanced Japanese next fall.

Oh my god, I'm so gonna freak now... This is scaring the hell out of me... I'm practically plagued with the "OMG, WTF did you just do?!" thoughts running through my head... I had prepared myself not to take it, even though it would have been sad, but I hate being rejected and there's a high chance that I will be. I'm not an East Asian major or minor, I'm taking it for fun and for my CAS language requirement and after this year, I would have fulfilled the requirements. Plus, I haven't been getting the best grades in this class, despite trying to step up my studying. It's been really frustrating and disappointing and sad experience but I feel like I'm not ready to give up on this yet. I still want to know more. I want to be able to read manga without having to look up every single word, I want to understand Kimeru's songs for once; my first real reason to take Japanese was that I wanted to enjoy Kimeru's songs to their fullest -- ah, such pure and innocent memories.

So even if I get denied, at least I tried to get in. This is probably better than not trying at all. And if I end up feeling crushed because I was denied, well, that's a part of life and I can't let my fears inhibit me my entire life, right?

Yosh! I'm going put my energy in Japanese and Physics tonight! I have four hours until recitation and I still need to complete my homework. I feel surprisingly energetic today... I went to be around 2:30, got up around 10 AM even though my body wanted to wake up at 8 AM. My body is too used to only 6 hours of sleep, I think. When I saw that the time was only 7:55 AM, I freaked because I thought it would be like 9:30 or something. And then I forced myself to go back to sleep. These days, I need all the sleep I can get.

Okay, first some lunch. Let's see if the dosa man is out and then to Kimmel to study and do my homework!

Calculator FOUND!

I'm so happy! I checked NYU's lost and found and they didn't have it which made me a bit sad. I went to recitation and none of the people I worked with during the lab had it with them so I was feeling like the calculator was really lost.

But then I checked the office behind the lab and they had it!!! I was so happy and I thanked them so many times... I probably seemed like a fool but I was just really happy to get it back. I don't have to spend lots of money replacing it! *sigh* Life is good.

...At least that is what I think until I remember that Hanawa responded to my email and her email is currently sitting in my mailbox taunting me. T_T

I'm scared of it... I don't want to know what it says! I'm scared of what it says! I don't want to read it! T_T Who knows what terrible things are written in it? T_T When I remember that, I freak out.

To think she responded so quickly too! All the other people emailed her back on Friday and before that and she never responded to them, still, from what I heard in class today. I must have caught her at a time when she was responding to all her emails... :( Just my luck...

But I don't have her class until Thursday so I'm going to put off reading it until then. Sure, it's a day away but that's still some precious time that I can use to prepare myself mentally to read it.

I know that I'm very weak willed and I'm bad at these sort of things and I have the tendency to run away when faced with doing things I don't want to do or things that I'm uncomfortable with but I'll face this when I can. I'm figure if I just face things when I'm ready, eventually, I'll hopefully get used to it and I'll be able to do these things in a more timely fashion... At least I hope so.

So today for lunch, I went to the Dosa Man for the first time and got myself a dosa! It's this Indian type crepe thing that has nice fillings inside. I got the Special Ponicherry Dosa with the potato and vegetables filling. The veggies were lettuce, carrots, peppers and something that was a bright yellow that I couldn't identify very well... It was very yummy! I didn't know if I would like it or not and it seemed like it was a salad wrapped in a crepe but it was very tasty! I regret not having it spicy though -- but for my first time I wanted to try it without having extra spices mar the true flavor of the dosa.

The coconut chutney was really good though. I probably wasn't supposed to eat it with the dosa but it worked really well with it and as far as I'm concerned, if it tastes good, then it's okay. The soup was okay -- typical of a vegetables soup. I also got a samosa with the sweet tamarind sauce and it was divine! I still think I like meat samosas better but the vegetable version was pretty good despite that. And the sweetness of the tamarind sauce was really nice and worked well with the samosa. And for $6, it was a very filling lunch. I will definitely have to go back again and try some of the other dosas. It's the first time I've tried vegan food, much less vegan Indian food but I'm surprised at how tasty it was. As someone who likes the taste of meat and am not very fond of salads, I still liked it a lot. Who would have thought?

I also bought a different flavor of Honest Tea today. I usually get the Heavenly Honey Green which is just green tea with a touch of honey to sweeten it but today I went ahead and tried the Peach Oo-la-long which is oolong with peach puree (also with the purpose of sweetening the tea). I'm not a big fan of oolong but I thought it would be worth a shot. It wasn't terrible. But I found it too be too watery. The peach flavor was light and it did sweeten slightly (it was very light) for like the first couple of seconds the tea is in your mouth but then it gives way to this slightly bitter, icky taste that lingers for a few seconds and then disappears. I think what this tells me is that I'm just not an oolong type of girl. But this doesn't put me off of Honest Tea. Next, I want to try their Pomegranate White Tea with Acai. I've heard good things about white tea recently and since I've never had it before, I want to try it. Plus, the whole pomegranate thing is along the same lines of the POM so I figure it's the next logical step. ^^

Okay, enough of the food. Last thing I want to write a bit about is History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi! I've been avoiding this show since it seemed a bit weird (and that girl had really big breasts which usually leads to animes that I tend not to like) and it was about fighting, something I'm not fond of either... But I decided to try it out last night when I saw the large amounts of seeders and leechers of the 14th episode. Something that people are downloading so much has to be an okay watch, right? So I decided to try it out and download it.

I've just gotten to the 4th episode and it's very interesting! I guess to me, sport type animes where someone is reaching for a goal are the types of animes that attract me most! That and I'm really starting to like Apachai! Sure, there are lots of other characters that are attracting my interest but Apachai is just too cute! He's like Kurita from Eyeshield! A cute character that doesn't quite realize his own strength. ^^ Very cute! I have ten episodes left and I'm already feeling that "I don't want it to end!" feeling. Why did I not start watching this anime sooner? What was I thinking? This is why I need to try everything at least once and then decide once and for all if the show is for me or not. That a way, I won't be missing out on anything at least.

Okay, on to the fifth episode of Kenichi! ^^

edit x1: Waaa!!! Kenichi has some wonderful OSTs! I think it's the Diana influence -- I hear powerful piano music and I think "WOW!!!" Ahhh...I want the OST!