Oh, Addek, why do you captivate me so?

*head hits desk* I should not be watching random Grey's Anatomy episodes for Addie. I shouldn't be watching any Grey's Anatomy because I kinda sorta hate Meredith Grey. And I still do despite having watched a total of five episodes today. I really, really shouldn't. But I am. I just really like Addison. And I'm getting into Addison/Derek despite it being a doomed, doomed, doomed relationship that has already died, died, died. And yet, I can't quite kick the Addek fics.

Oh my god, it's het too. How far I've sunk... *sigh* There's this one author who writes these really long Addek fics that reminds me of all the things I hate about het fics and yet, I stick around and I read every last chapter of them. And it pisses me off that she manages to get Addison pregnant in every single one of them (thus far, I've only gotten through three of them and already over 200 chapters total) because she can't get pregnant anymore and yet a miracle always, always happens. I don't like having a baby to solve marital problems (if you're having problems with your marriage, a baby is the last thing you need to bring into that sort of situation) but she always manages to get one in there. Or after they make up. Which happens a bit fast too. I want angst, lots of angst and with Addison and Derek's relationship, how could you not have heavy, heavy, heavy angst? But I want them to reconcile, even if they've both moved on and Derek is going to propose to Meredith (yuck!) and Addison has moved to LA... I don't mind the AUness of it all -- hell, since I haven't seen most of the Grey's Anatomy episodes, it's all pretty AU to me anyway.

And I just reminded myself that I'm also breaking one of my cardinal rules of not getting into a fandom that I'm not familiar with the characters already. *sigh* I don't suppose this half counts? I mean I watch Private Practice after all... And I've seen a few episodes of GA. Not many, but a few. Like the one where Addison arrives. Or the one where she leaves. And the one where she comes back. Also the one where there's juju (so love the fact that she brings Derek juju and he accepts it gladly). Wait, I'm pretty sure there was another episode in there somewhere... :\ Right, the one where Nancy shows up! What is that, five episodes! Like I thought, five episodes. I still want to watch the one where Mark shows up though... Complete the set, you know? But I'm not forward to seeing Derek punch his lights out (for Meredith, really? Seriously, it should be for Addie, it should ALL be for Addie) so maybe I'll hold off.

But I probably won't.

I so didn't want to be that girl that watched Grey's Anatomy... I made fun of those girls! And yet, here I am. Ugh...