I love Kimeru

[sherryillk]

I've realized that yes, I really do love Kimeru and that I will only keep on loving Kimeru and that Kimeru is just so damn cute that I can't imagine not loving Kimeru.

Kimeru!!!

Yes, I'm quite aware that you think my love will wane with time Masha but right now, KIMERU!!!

Why the fuck haven't I received your DVD yet??? I'm going mad waiting... :( Where are you?! I want my DVD! I want lots and lots of Kimeru love!

Getting FMA 43... All the bots for all the places I get my FMA were all lagged up today. What's up with that? Usually it's a lot better than that. What, a new release of something? 48?

I spoiled myself today. I actively seeked out FMA spoilers just so I'll know what happens. So far I know that there is an episode that I have yet to see that has two major character deaths.

My question is: WHO?!

NOT AL, PLEASE!!! I couldn't seek the answer out unfortunately... :( But I want to know! :(

And I was holding such hopes for Al and Ed's father. But he's evil and he'll die. :(

That's just really depressing...

Kimeru will make me happier. Except I don't have Kimeru. Naze?! Why the fuck don't I have Kimeru???

Note to self: Must go to post office for info and stamps. And go to computer lab to print off test and invoice. Visit WaMu to get money.

Oh! Debit card came!

Sherry is also a very bad girl. I know what that means and what it's referencing to. Maybe two other people will too. If you don't, better for you and for me.

Gah, it's late. Must sleep. Will hopefully dream of a beautiful, yummy Kimmie greeting me soon. I have no hopes because I'll probably won't get anything this week but I still am holding hope.

Going to an anime club meeting... I found out the time and place so I'm gonna go... it's like 8 PM - Midnight... So freaking long...

I'm scared. I usually don't bond well with other anime likers. They scare me.

Like I would be reading these people's stories and their LJs and then I see pics of them and I'm like, "...."

I'm a snob, I admit it. I think cosplay is gay and stupid and is something enjoyed by freaks. (Sorry, harsh, but true so don't kill me for having an opinion.)

I only do subbed stuff because I can't stand to hear dubbed works (but that's with all things, not just anime).

Anything immensely popular, I shy away from and ridicule. But as Masha would confirm, I'm like that with almost everything else as well.

I don't like goths, black clothing, bad students, anti-social, fat, has too many piercings, any tattooes, generally mean or sarcastic people. And poor people scare me a bit too. I'm not rich but people who flaunt not having money -- weird.

Anyone who's into self-multilation, drugs, anything else that's illegal (scary illegal stuff though), also no.

How will I bond with these people who will be probably into CN stuff and DDR? I don't know. Will try though. And will hopefully find some normal people too.

Yes, I know normal is really subjective, but being a person who is outside most of the time who desperately wishes she weren't, what can ya get? I'm cheap. I'm fake. Does it bother me? Not usually.

Ryan from my Writing the Essay class is into FMA too though. Will he be there? I don't know. he's a gamer. Which is not that bad as long as I don't have to go along with it.

Damn, I was really mean in this post. And it started so well... :( Was I rant-y?

I still love Kimeru though... Kimeru! Kiiiiimmmmmeeeerrrrruuuuu!

Must shower and read the last three pages of my bio book for class tomorrow. Thank god it's at 9:30 and not 8 AM. I would so die otherwise...

Last note:

DIANA!!! Scan the card and email it to me NOW!!! There are deadlines, hello?! And after you do that, mail it to me. NOW!!! Both sides too, okay?

Comments

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Ah...ic. ^___^ Well we all have our opinions I guess~

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

*cringes* Wow, I was really cruel last night. I'm usually more tolerant of people but I still kinda feel uneasy on the inside when I think about them. When I'm actually with them and as long as they don't rub me totally wrong, I'm good but when they're not around me...

So speaks the girl who's obviously hasn't had much exposure to other people who are different than her.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Why do you feel uneasy? And I'm being genuinely curious here, because your opinion differ greatly from my own and I like seeing things from both sides.

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

I'm like any other person -- I'm scared of what I don't understand. I don't feel like the people who are generally into anime (and would show up at a club for them) have the same ideas or are the same type of person I am. Even the people back at my old school who were into anime I didn't really like all that much. They were okay, if we were just talking about anime itself but when we talk about other stuff like politics, history, humanity or life itself, we're totally on the opposite sides of things. They were always the type people who were never very concerned about their image or how other people perceive them and I am very much concerned about it. And their priorities are usually a bit different too.

And the fact that I've never been around these people very much is also a factor. It's a bit like being around a bunch of inner city African American high schoolers when you're a Chinese girl from an agricultural town of a just a few thousand. How do we relate to each other when we're not used to dealing with each other? I don't know. Just stand there being very uncomfortable and awkward? That's how I usually react to those sorts of situations.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Ah I see. I'm not that much different, now that I think about it. ^^" I just don't understand people who care a lot about their image, how people think of them. So I don't interact well with people like that at school, who talk a lot about...their image, and what other people think about them.

I guess there will always be those certain types of people that seem so foreign that it's impossible to interact with them on a comfortable basis~

So now I can kind of understand where you're coming from =D""

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

Well I'm not one of those people either. I'm concerned about what people think of me but I don't talk about it. Sherry is a shy and quiet girl who has a deep fear of people. People can be quite cruel you know. I think that's why I don't want to be perceived as "weird."

And if you don't understand people like me, caring how other people think, then you're probably a lot stronger than I am (or you just haven't gone through what I have). I don't rock boats, I go with the flow.

Unless it's of personal importance to me like me and another person doing a joint class project and something that is important to me like my grades are at stake, I probably will just let the other person do what they want to do and go along with it.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Well I've gone through some major teasing during elementary...and grade 9. But it stopped after awhile because I realized I was being really stupid. Sitting there and crying wasn't going to help me.

I just have this belief that whether people like you or not, you can't change that. Seems like a waste of my time to worry so much about it. I've made enemies for doing nothing and I guess it's something like 'why should I go out of my way to act a certain way to please you [so that you'd stop making fun of me] when I know your opinion of me can never be changed anyway?'

I know people can be cruel, and I don't know what happened to you, but through my experience, the reason why all the teasing and remarks hurt me was because I cared about what those people thought of me. I care about what my friends and family think of me, because they matter. The other people who take me at face value does not.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

But I do know it's different for everyone. ^___^ Don't mean to lecture. Ehehe...just I remember sharing the same opinion as you do~ Wow. ><"" Brings back memories

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

Teasing eventually stops for all, but that doesn't mean the hurt that has been caused is erased. Besides, I was going through an awkward time so once I felt more comfortable with myself, people were more comfortable with me.

And it wasn't like I made enemies. The teasing was only because they were being mean to be mean. That stuff, people grow out after a bit (thank god or else I'd have killed myself by now).

I care about what my friends think of me because I would like them to think they have a good opinion of me. My family not so much so because they are family and what they think of me doesn't matter as much because I know they will be there no matter what.

Besides, who wants to be known as an antisocial anime freak anyways? It's a matter of pride. Anime and manga and fangirling over Kimeru is a hobby (one that I feel passionate about) but it isn't who I am so I'd rather not be known for it. If I'm going to be labeled as something, I'd much rather be labeled as a great student who never fails. There's some more of my pride showing.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Ah. That bit is definitely true. But it's been so long...Again, different for everyone I guess. ^______^

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

Aren't you like younger than I am? You sound as you're like ages older...

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

I am younger but..well what I meant was that it HAS been a long time. Two years is a long time for me to reconcile with all that stuff. I'd like to think I've grown a lot and my way of thinking HAS changed drastically. ^^"

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

It's been over six years for me and I'm still feeling it's effects. Not as much. My personality is that I can't hold grudges and I can't be sad/depressed too long because most of the time I don't care but you still kinda do hold resentment from those times. And besides, I really don't understand some people who chose to do weird stuff. It's not that I don't accept them or that I have some problem with them (though I wouldn't want to be one of them), it's just that they're outside of my comprehension. Why would people get tattooes or piercings? What is with black and stuff like duct tape and safety pins? I'm generalizing majorly but I do kinda wonder... And cosplay. I don't understand cosplay. Is it for pyschological reasons? An innate desire to escape into a world of fantasy? Wow, I could do my paper on this. ^_^

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Well...they might think being utterly normal - model student, dressing in boring clothes with no particular eye-catching style - is pretty weird. ^__^ I think it's just that dressing that way appeals to them. Like, people think Kimeru's a girly guy and probably can't understand why we like him, just as we maybe unable to understand why people would like Kyo from Dir en Grey who pukes purple stuff and screams at the top of his lungs during lives ^^"

Cosplay is entirely for fun (I'm generalizing too, but most of the cosplayers I've met are doing it for fun ^^) Why do people cosplay? Why do people go out and watch movies when they have to get there, pay (and is pretty expensive over here) in order to watch a movie that would be coming out in a few months on DVD (when one can buy or rent)? It's kind of the same thing. I think ^____^"

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

Okay, you've just insulted my entire style... *sniffs* But that's okay since I probably insulted them. But since my way is the accepted norm and theirs isn't, I say HA to them.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

All I'm saying is that they might be feeling the same way about the things you like ^^"

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

Well, you do need to take in the fact that though I'm nothing spectacular, am not exactly looked on as an oddity. That is just the general held belief, the norm of the day. People tend to base their ideas of what is odd and what is not based on the norm. So if I am the norm, wouldn't they be thinking of themselves as weird instead of me?

I would think these people would affirm that, taking pride in their uniqueness and you can't exactly say "Oh she's weird for being so normal" since weird and normality aren't usually used in reference together.

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

That's not what I meant. In your point of view, they're probably weird according to society's idea of normal. In their point of view, they might think you're weird for being so boring in their idea of normal.

Like, I know what you're talking about, but just because they take pride in being unique and foreign to most people doesn't mean they can't think of your lifestyle or way of dress weird or strange either because they might think expressing themselves through whatever they wear is normal (but not necessarily to society). They might take pride in being weird in society's eyes, but that style of living might seem normal to them because they're comfortable in that state.

People may tend to base their ideas on what is the norm to the majority, but there will always be a minority that think differently. And people who society deems 'odd or abnormal' might be that minority.

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

I know that there will always be people who stand outside. And I know they probably free right in doing so because they feel more comfortable like that. But they grew up in the same society as we do and have learned the same value system. You can't just erase that as a conscious "Oh, I'm going to wipe that off of my mind and pretend I don't know it anymore."

I'm willing to bet that they know they're weird and that we're the normal ones. They might think that we're different than they are. Our definitons of "normal" are different in a personal way, but not in a society way. And society will always rule (unless you're removed from society and haven't been influenced by it overly much).

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

Well getting back to the first point, I guess it really does depend on the person. I just don't like saying "well I'm considered the norm of society and you're just weird so that makes me one higher than you." Because of society's ideas of what is normal and what is not, one dislikes a certain group of people because of stereotypes, that annoys me.

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying that! I'm just saying it's hard to escape society's views because they are so well accepted. Even the people who don't believe in it would know about it and would be aware of it. It's just awareness...

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

0__O Oh. Wah. Seems like I'm taking your words all wrong~ ><"" So let's just leave it at that =D"""

So how was that anime meeting thingy? ^^"

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

By the way, have fun during the anime meeting~

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

It was good. I met some new people, saw some anime that I've never seen before. They have a "library" so I'm hoping to get some Saiyuki Reload (I've been cut off since it's licensed) from them. They're into stuff that I'm not really all that into, but I'm willingly to try them out. Ghost in the Shell 2 looks like it'll bore the hell out of me but Akenboshi Magic Shopping Street seems fun and Samurai Champloo seems to be good too. And they'll be showing Naruto!

[cruel-disorder.livejournal.com]

I heard that Samurai Champloo is awesome ^____^ And of course Naruto rocks~ <333

Glad you had fun =3

[sherryillk.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what you hear but those that get rave reviews, usually don't appeal to me. And Naruto... I was never very fond of the anime so I stopped at like episode 26 and they'll be showing the newer episodes (100+) and that'll be a bit jump... I'm pretty current on the manga so hopefully that'll make up for it.