sherryillk: (Default)
sherryillk ([personal profile] sherryillk) wrote2004-10-04 12:33 pm

Introspection, never good

I am a leech.

I have been starting to feel horrible lately...just kinda melancholy... It's not that I'm sad but rather I feel devoid of life.

They call us leeches if we get stuff off of people's fserves. I am a leech but also in a different way. I feel like I'm trying to leech off happiness and the feeling of being alive from other sources -- anime, fanfiction since I can't create it myself.

And when I find that I don't have any great fanfics or interesting animes, I feel dead. It doesn't help that I'm reading sad fanfics too... Not only am I leeching stuff to keep me alive, I'm leeching off depressive feelings which in turn make me feel even worse.

I hate this feeling. I really do. I thought I was adjusted but is this a sign that I'm not?

God, I don't know anymore.

[identity profile] cruel-disorder.livejournal.com 2004-10-04 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Um one way I relieve sadness is to join rpgs =D go join one! noow~ u get such cracky goodness~~ i can recommend some pot ones to you~ ^^